My name is Lisa Grittani-Clark.

I am 25 years old.

I am Imperfectly Perfect.

I experienced my first seizure when I was 17 years old... An AVM was discovered on the left hemisphere of my brain... I received gamma knife radiation, the best medical treatment available at that time, there was always the risk that eventually the blood vessels making up the AVM would burst, leading to a traumatic cerebral hemorrhage... An AVM is short for arterial veinal malformation, meaning the blood vessels in my brain were knotted like which cause the blood flow to clog and therefore you have a bleed!

Being a seventeen year old, this development caused a major impact not only was I academic studies but also in my life outside of school. Having experienced a seizure, and knowing that there was a possibility that more could follow, I was not allowed to drive for one full year... My medical treatments caused me to fall behind in school and I struggled to catch up with my work. My teachers were on constant watch and worked with me to the best of their abilities to enhance me performance.

My seizure was the major symptom of my AVM... Following it, I became aware of a decrease of sensation in random parts of my body, as well as muscle weakness and a change in my vision. In 2004, I graduated high school and completed my first semester at Nassau Community College. Unfortunately, however, in 2005, while at work, I experienced a sensation I described as my head “flooding”. I called my mom for help, but the seizure took place prior to her arrival at my job. In the emergency room, an immediate craniotomy procedure was performed, removing a part of my skull in order to allow for the bleed to evacuate and relieve pressure from my brain’s swelling. One month later, a cranioplasty replaced the removed piece of skull. I was then transferred to the St. Charles Rehabilitation Center.

Laying in a coma for four months altered my life immensely. The left side of my brain was no longer functioning and when I became conscious, I could not speak, walk, eat or move independently. The AVM had transformed an active, energetic teenager into a patient in need of as much help as an infant.

Like most children , teens or adults with traumatic brain injury (TBI), My situation caused me to have to re-learn everything, starting with something as basic as eating. The ultimate goal was to get me to improve to the point where I could maintain the most normal life-style as possible for someone in my condition. If I were able to improve dramatically, I might be able to enroll back into college. I received my meals through a feeding tube for a significant amount of time until I learned how to handle utensils. I began eating solid foods with a softer consistency, such as apple sauce and pudding, so that I could practice bringing food to my mouth without having to worry about chewing before swallowing. After a period of time my voice started to develop again, something the doctors thought would never happen. However, it seemed that by me using other parts of my brain, speaking became possible. Fortunately, I was able to receive physical therapy, occupational therapy, and speech therapy.

As far as the learning process was concerned, I was taught to do things much like one would teach a small child. New information was given to me in the simplest way possible and I was encouraged to practice taking care of myself on my own, as much as I could. I received one-on-one attention from speech pathologists who taught me how to use the muscles in my mouth to speak properly. I learned to chew wads of gum as part of my therapy, in order to keep my jaw moving which would help improve my speaking skills. I was re-taught how to spell simple words such as “farm” or “plants” and though I learned to read one word at a time, I had difficulty when reading full sentences...

Since the right side of my body remained paralyzed, I received physical therapy to help me move and walk properly. Little by little, My therapists helped me to strengthen my muscles and improve my balance as I learned how to walk. Although I needed to use a wheelchair, I was able to recover to the point of walking very small distances with the aid of a walker. I also received occupational therapy in order to learn how to function in a normal environment. I now attend therapy one day a week, which is less than what was needed when I first began my recovery.

My AVM had a huge impact on my family because I had to adjust everything in my lives. My mother had to quit her job so that I would have someone available to help me during the day and take me to doctor and therapy visits. My sisters, Keri and Taylor had to rely on themselves more, which also meant working more hours in order to help out financially. Additionally, our entire house had to be modified to make it wheelchair accessible. Finally, an aide was approved to assist me during the day, five days a week, which allowed my mother to return to work on a part-time basis.

Currently, I seem to be in the best condition that I will probably ever be in. I speak much more clearly, and although my diction still needs improvement, I'm almost 100% understandable. I'm much better at walking and no longer needs to use a walker for support, but a cane instead; and my eating habits have improved, as well. I'm capable of eating all foods, as long as harder foods are cut into small pieces. During therapy sessions, I'm also learning to improve my reading and writing skills.

Like mentally retarded individuals, I will reach a level where I can no longer improve. My traumatic brain injury left me with the mentality of a child in some ways. I ask to have directions repeated several times and still have difficulty understanding the information completely. Additionally, like a child, I don’t always comprehend that “no” means “no”. In order to teach somebody with my condition you need to approach it like you would someone who is mentally retarded. I do not process words, ideas, or thoughts without constant repetition and it’s very difficult for me to understand a conversation between two people unless they stop to explain exactly what they are talking about. I have certain limitations and although I cannot read, write or spell properly, I am excellent at using the computer and I'm able to text message with one hand.

Through all the hardship and life altering circumstances I have gone through;
I have always found a reason to smile the next day.

As a result of my situation, I lost my boyfriend, some of my friends, my ability to progress in school, and my life as I know it, but that does not stop me from moving forward and pushing myself to improve a little bit everyday. I struggle in the wheelchair and tries to walk as much as possible. My parents also try to help me live as normal a life as I can - my father brought me to Madison Square Garden to watch my favorite hockey team, the Rangers, play; my mother brings me to the mall where I, operating my power wheelchair, can feel a sense of independence and normalcy; and as a family, they take me to as many outside activities as possible. There has not been one moment when I expressed a desire to give up. What I express is my goal for the future of being able to step out of my wheelchair and walk normally. I hope to attend school again soon and wants to pursue a career is photography.

I decided to share my story with Imperfectly Perfect and the rest of the world because I want people to know that even when your life is turned upside down, you have the strength to continue on; you just need to find it within you. I hope my experience gives others the inspiration they need to carry on.

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